Teaching good touch and bad touch to your child

On reading news related to child molestation, chill runs down my spine. It is disgusting to know how sick people can be. Few months back, reading such news frequently had put me in a dilemma. How should I talk to my little Aahana who is only five year old, about good touch and bad touch? I shared my concern with my husband and discussed if we should do it. We cannot be by her side all the time to protect her so it is important to educate her and make her strong without intimidating her.

My husband and I decided to talk to her on this topic together so that she can be equally open to both of us and approach us freely whenever she needs us. We wanted to keep the tone of discussion light so while playing with her each of us hugged her with love and asked if she liked it every time when mummy papa hug her. She said yes. By asking her explicitly we wanted to make her understand how a good touch feels like.

Now was the time for the daunting task of telling her about bad touch. I took her in my lap and showed her a poster of our body parts. While showing her the different parts, I taught her that those parts of body which are always covered are called private parts. If someone touches it, it is called bad touch and you should shout, 'No' and run away from that place. Many articles suggest that, we can teach them through 'swim-suit' rule that those parts which are covered by a swimsuit are not to be touched by anyone else. However, a sick predator might not necessarily start by touching them. So, we also told her that if someone tries to pull your cheeks or puts hand on your shoulder or thigh tightly and if you do not like it then also you should shout out loud and try to leave that place immediately. If someone shows his private parts to you, you should immediately run away from that place.

        

Image Credits: Internet

To keep it light, this topic was discussed in parts. While taking her to doctor for vaccination, I told her when we go to hospital if need be, mumma will remove your underwear for you and it is not to be imitated while playing with doctor set with friends. This is important because children tend to imitate what they see in real life.

I have taught her that it is not good to change or remove clothes in front of everyone. When she has to change her clothes, I take her to room, close the door and then change it. She also tries to wear her clothes by herself.

 Other than just explaining about the different kinds of touch, it is important to teach some precautions also to our children. 

Since she was two, Aahana has been taught not to accept anything from anyone except from her mom, dad and grandparents. She has learnt it so well that even when someone offers her something that she likes, she asks either to me or her dad and only then accepts it. She never accepts anything at all from strangers.

I have also asked Aahana not to go with anyone even when someone says that your mom and dad have asked to get you there. I have also taught her not to talk to any stranger at all.

I also feel it is good to teach her to say, 'No' if she does not like something. When someone hugs her or puts her in the lap and she does not like it, she now says no and tries to free herself from the hold.

Every day I ask her about how her day went. Apart from what she learnt at school, I ask her about who she played with or talked to. I also listen to her when she tells me how a particular game is played. This way, I can come to know if there is something wrong. I have also told her that children always share everything with their parents even when someone asks them not to share. Both of us also try to instill strong feeling in her that if she is scared of anything, she can come to us and tell about it and we will always be there to help her.

Apart from all this, I keep track of notifications from Hello Parent when school bus has reached the school and when it has left from the school. Technology also helps us a lot in ensuring safety of the child. Apart from attending Parents Teachers Meeting regularly, I stay in contact with her teachers through the Hello Parent app to know about my child.

It is a tough task for parents in these times to protect and at the same time let them free to explore the world. Also such cases of abuse are not limited only to girl child, so we should try to protect both the girl child and the boy child by spreading awareness among them in a way which is appropriate for their age.