I have given up!



7 September, 2018


Well before seeing those two pink lines that changed my life altogether, I was sort of a cleanliness freak. I had to have the floors clean all the time, the kitchen counters and bathrooms sparkling clean. The car seats were vacuumed too!! I always cribbed about the husband having his wire-ridden laptops and electronics all over the place. Call it OCD if you may, but I changed pillow covers and cleaned my comb each time I washed my hair, cleaned my brush with a bit of toothpaste every single day, before using it to brush my teeth!

Then we got the news of pregnancy. Nausea and tiredness overtook the impulse to clean up every nook and corner of the house, and there started the downfall of the cleanliness streak. All I wanted to do was to eat and binge watch TV series. But yes, I did manage to maintain clean floors and mess free house. I had to keep myself active and these are essential daily chores, you see. Soon enough, I was the heaviest I had ever been. We tried to get a house-help but she did not last long. When you have to do the dishes already “scrubbed”, what is the point of having a house-help?

The day finally came when she was born. Right from that moment, things took a drastic plunge. I did not have either the time or energy to keep the house "the way I wanted it to be". My mom and MIL took care of the basic cleaning and all I did was, take care of the baby and myself. Things change you see, so do priorities. Wherever you go, you see a wipe, a diaper or a rattle lying around. After a while, it becomes the norm. This is how a newborn's house is, you say to yourself. I did not have time to even comb my hair - I couldn't start getting fussy over pillow covers and toothbrushes!! I got so busy that I did not even have the time to nitpick on dear hubby!

I moved to my native after a month and he managed the house by himself for close to 6 months. When I returned, I was jolted out of my dream of this spic-and-span house. Let's face it. Guys have this ability to live in a messy house in peace. And my cleanliness levels are…well…quite different from my husband's. He had of course tried his best, but me being me, started my cleaning mission.

After close to 2 years, I can say that the cleaning mission is still a work-in-progress. In fact, I do not see any progress. As I sit and write, I look around. There is bubble wrap (daughter loves to pop bubbles)strewn  all over the house, a bat and lot of tiny toys around the TV stand, baby wipes around the sofa, more toys on another couch and a dozen paper cups with different colored water on the dining table. She insists on keeping this colored water there for I don't know how long. All her dolls are always "sleeping" across the hallway. We have now acquired this talent of walking across this puddle of toys without stumbling!

She is someone who loves little knickknacks. Coins, beads, stones, empty boxes - she loves collecting them all. And the worst part is she remembers - EVERYTHING. This means I cannot throw away stuff. If she finds anything missing, she will remember and ask for it in a few days.

I have tried - asking, grumbling, ordering and finally clearing the toys away. But for how long will I have a clean floor? She wakes up from her nap, comes looking for a toy and there they go, all over the place, yet again. What is the point of cleaning up? So, I have given up - Given up on this dream of having a sparkling clean, well decorated house, with everything in place. Given up on having a clean and well-made bed with just the bedspread and blankets, neatly tucked. Given up on having a dining table meant just for that - dining.

For the time being, I will have to get myself to live in this tsunami-struck home, but with a very happy and satisfied toddler! That makes it all worthwhile, I guess!!

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